Saturday, June 27, 2009

The first trimester

It's over. The first trimester I mean.
Tomorrow I'll be 14 weeks pregnant.
I don't know why I haven't written more in the last 10 weeks, I must be a bad person for not keeping a journal of this experience.

Whenever I thought about writing something about what's been happening to me so far, I always had something to say - in my head, away from the computer. Now that I'm actually trying to write, I can't seem to collect my thoughts and come up with anything meaningful.

So I guess let's start from the beginning.
I found out I was pregnant on a Monday night, April 27th. P was there with me when I found out. He drove up to see me that day out of the blue. I had been having really bad cramps over the weekend that I thought were just really bad PMS. In fact, along with a pregnancy test, I bought some ibuprofen that night that I still haven't opened.

So I bought the test, and I wasn't the slightest bit nervous. I was excited. P was at the apartment when I walked in, and I was just happy to see him, and showed him that I had bought the pregnancy test. He kind of brushed it off, still thinking that he was sterile for some crazy reason.
It was a digital test. I wish I had taken a picture of it that night, but I was too scatter brained.

After I took the test, I was all smiles. For one, it proved once and for all that both P and I were fertile, and that we could have kids together if we wanted to. I know it's strange to think of it that way, but I was really excited.

P was sitting at the dining room table on the computer when I asked him "what do you want it to be?" (the results). He seemed kind of anxious now, seeing my smile, probably wondering if I was messing with him. "I don't know" - he seemed torn. I showed him the results. No decoding necessary there - it was loud and clear. It was overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time. He pulled me in and held me, we talked. Were we ready? Could we handle it? Was it the right time? He made it very clear that whatever we decided to do, he was 100% behind me.

I bought prenatal vitamins the next morning before work. I don't think I ever seriously considered giving up the baby. I'd never be able to get over it, especially since we both wanted a baby. We just didn't know quite when.

I told my parents the following weekend. There was lots of crying, by me and my mom.
We told P's mom on mother's day - by giving her a grandma card. That was exciting - she was thrilled, and has been ever since.

And the rest is history. Well, 10 weeks of it anyway. Nausea, vomiting, back pain... yep I've had the whole bunch. There were a couple of weeks where I vomited daily. Then a week or so where crackers seemed to help a lot. Then vomiting almost stopped. Then it came back with a vengeance for a couple more days.

So it's been on and off. Getting much better now - I'm no longer exhausted 24/7 (though I still do sleep a lot). I've been less nauseous too. I've gained about 5 pounds (last time I checked anyway, might be more by now). I've had 2 ultrasounds - both times got to hear the baby's heartbeat and got a picture to take home.

Recently I've told my manager, and the rest of the team at work. They've been very supportive and happy for me. So.. things are moving along fine. Though I don't think it has quite sunk in yet.